It's really interesting, to say the least. Probably the strangest thing is all those "difficult" times they I had seem really nostalgic now, and over all I feel good when I read them. Time has an interesting way of clearing away the bad times from your memory. I thought I had so many problems, but the truth was most of those days were really good times. I had an opportunity to be young. I think back,and I realize I was way too focused on two things. One was losing my virginity and having a girlfriend, and two was forming the "perfect" band and playing shows and being respected by the musical community where I live. Not having both of those things made my life seem kind of shitty thinking back. I was so focused on both of thsoe issues, that I actually allowed them to become issues.
The other thing that hits me pretty hard is..and this might be the most shocking thing of all for anyone who read this journal...Is how feminine, emo, and weak I appeared most of the time in this journal. It's really shocking to be honest. I'm really not like that at all anymore. It's really funny after reading an entry where I complained about "not being masculine at all", because I'm definently a fucking dude. I like to lift weights, drink beer, listen to shitloads of metal, and I like watching Football and hockey and chilling with my bros. I've also, very thankfully, become level headed for the most part. I've learned that over the past 11 months,since I've dealth with a couple of life changing events..and I know that I realize that I can handle just about anything.Life isn't fucking perfect (It took me FOREVER to learn this),but it's pretty fucking awesome.
Well, I guess writing here wouldn't seem right without giving an update. right?
Well, I'm happy to announce that I'm in a happy 10 month relationship with my girlfriend Maryam. She is the biggist sweetheart ever,and it feels really weird to be introducing her for the first time on here..since a few years ago there would have been 300 entries by now about her. What's also interesting is I would have never seen myself with a girl like her back then. She's the cute abercrombie and fitch go with the flow type of girl who loves her cellphone, reality shows, the radio, and doesn't like losing ever. She won't let me win, at anything. Most of all she HATES my music ,and couldnt care less about punk rock or any underground music or what it means...and i LIKE that. Why I love her so much is because she so sweet,caring,and devoted and loves me unconditionally even with all of my flaws. Did I mention that she is absolutely fucking gorgeous? Ok well I did now. We have our fights and disagreements, but over it's awesome and it feels great. September 13th will be 1 year for us!
Big update number 2: I am a supervisor with NCI,and I love it. I handle all the idiots who call sprint too much and refuse to pay their phone bills,and I basicly tell them no and get to be a complete condescending asshole(within reason ofcourse..uh i mean unfourtunetly) to people who try to insult my reps and I get paid for it. It's more fun then I should admit. I walk the floor and answer questions when I'm not taking calls, and I help train new hires in the training bay. I'm not quite a Unit Manager yet, but it's the next step and I probably will be soon. I feel pretty good about my job,and I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere and making something of myself.
Big Update 3: Cancerface is no longer just my one band "studio" project. It's now officially an actual band. I gave my cd I finished 6 months ago to a few new guys at work,and they were so impressed they decided they wanted to be in the band with me. My Friend Jason Kruger is playing bass, and yes we are playing live with a drume machine. We are in the process right now of booking our first show,and I'm beyond stoked. I also finally have my dream amp, a Peavey 6505+ head and cab..so playing live is easy now. My bandmates are fucking awesome and I can't fucking wait..This is some GOOD shit.
Life has also been very difficult at times too. I lost my uncle Mark in January,and earlier this month my girlfriend attempted suicide because her muslim parents do not approve of her being with an american guy like me.There has been other drama as well this month.My brotehr has had it rough as well,getting kicked out of his apartment and then having his car break down all in the same week...thus he is borrowing my car at this moment. My uncle's death has been very tough on my parents,as now they have to take care of my aunt pat with multiple sclerosis and that hasnt been going well. However...Notice I list these things as an afterthought now? before each one would have seemed like the end of teh world..Now I've learned.. things happen,and you just have to deal with them. Helping my girlfriend through this rough time has been incredibly tough, but I'm going to be here for her through everything and anything...there is simply no otehr way.
So thats it basicly. Maybe I'll come back and update this every so often now. It's nice though to not really need this anymore.Life is busy enough these days..don't have the time to write about what I wish I had anymore,because I pretty much have it.