This heading sucks
The Death of NCI?
(2005-12-01, 1:41 a.m.)
God something smells terrible around my computer,i just went up and tried looking for a lighter so I could light a candle,or atleast find some air freshner..but I didn't succeed.I guess it's kinda how my day went

First fo all..is it really December 1st already? Holy shit...it's scary how fast time feels like it flies anymore

Today I guess you could say was just "one of those days"

I was an hour late to work today,and I'm pretty pissed at myself over it.It's definently my own fault.I stayed up too late and I couldn't wake up in time for work.I hate it when the rug is fucking wet and freezing cold..again.It's fucking ridiculous..we just got it fucking dry last weekand it it fucking flooded again this week when it rained.I'm so god damn fucking sick of it...Every fucking time it rains I spend the day watching the tool room and sucking up the water with a shop vac.What happends is you end up carying 40 pounds of water over 20 times each time it rains back and forth between the room and the laundry room.My dad..bless him..does a lot of it and helps out when I'm not around,which is amazing because he really doesn't have to...so it could be a lot worse.His work ethic is amazing.I know he hates it as much as I do.Unfourtuently,what often happends is when we all go to bed..it fills up and floods the whole carpet...and it's not that bad during the summer when it's wet,but during the winter it's shitty because everytime I wake up I feel like I have to walk on a sheet of ice in a basement that already gets really cold.

I think unfourtunetly it wears me out,and puts me in a bad mood for a few days after.I think it's a big contributer to that.I woke up today and I just felt pissed off and tired.I didn't wake up untill 4:45,and at that point I knew I was going to be more than 15 minutes late..so I called in and said my car didn't start(hah,which isnt a lie if you think about it).The way it works is if you are more than 15 minutes late..you get half of an occurance..and if you show up more than halfway through your shift..you get a full occurence as if you never came in.So I went in around 6:40..which I'm upset at myself about and embarassed about it.

Plus,when I get in...I got my daily QA and it was for the one fucking call I fucked up yesterday so i got a pretty bad grade on it.I guess it could have been "much worse" but still...I can't lower myself to believe it's "ok".I also got memoed for the day I was having stomach problems because I went over 15 minutes for allowed breaktime.Although this IS true and I DID break the rules..I guess it just annoyed me that I fucked up a call and my stomach had to act up at work.Plus,it's now official that MCI is not renewing it's contract with us..so they announced on wednesday they are going to start laying off employees as of JAN 1st.Theres a company coming in tomorrow but I guess no one has been interested yet.I guess the combonation of all of these things put me in a bad mood all day,and gave me a really helpless feeling about the job which until today i'd been doing very well at.Because I have a feeling if I never knew that were probably all going to lose our jobs in a month or 2..I would have made it to work ontime today...which is immature of me...esspecially since it didn't really come out of left field.I knew it was a possibility since I was hired...I guess I just wanted to believe it wasn't going to happen this time.I admit it has killed my motivation a lot...and givin me that "why bother?" feeling.I need to find a reason to get back on track really fucking quick.I have to learn how to be more positive about things too..I've been really bad the past couple years with that.

However there is good news.Tomorrow will be a good day.I get paid,Jason,Dom,Nick,Chad and I are going to start eating out every friday..which is cool.It sucks That chad's leaving in a few weeks to go to the marines..which is insane.I just hope he stays safe and doesnt get shipped off to iraq,because he's seriously a great person,and has been nothing but fucking cool to me.So Were all going to pitch in and buy him dinner and all the beer he wants.Fuck,he's going to be in boot camp..the kid needs to have a good time before he leaves! Damn i cant even imagine what he's going through right now.I don't care if you agree with the war or not(and hell,I dont even agree with it either),You have to have a TON of respect for someone willing to risk their life to fight for you.That's all there is to it.

So anyway,it's time i relax and play guitar for a little bit..I have to keep things perspective,things are much better these days.